MATH QUOTES
"Mathematics is the alphabet with which God has written the universe."
- Galileo Galilei
"Life is good for only two things,
discovering mathematics
and teaching mathematics"
-Siméon Poisson
"Mathematics is a language."
-Gibbs, Josiah Willard (1839 -1903)
"Young Men should prove theorems, old men should write books."
-Hardy, Godfrey H. (1877-1947)
"A topologist is one who doesn't know the difference between a doughnut and
a coffee cup."
-Kelley, John
"Now I will have less distraction."
-Euler, Leonhard (1707-1783)
[upon losing the use of his right eye]
"Seek simplicity, and distrust it."
-Whitehead, Alfred North (1861-1947)
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JOKES
Q:
Where do math teachers go on vacation?
A:
To
Times Square
.
Q:
What happened to the plant in math class?
A: It grew square roots.
Q:
Why don't you do math in the jungle?
A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!
Q.
What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. I've got to many problems.
Q.
Who invented algebra?
A. A Clever X-pert.
Q. What do you get when you cross geometry with McDonalds?
A. A plane cheeseburger.
Q. What shape is usually waiting for you at Wendy's?
A. A line.
Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7.
A. Because 7 ate 9.
Q.
If there are ten copycats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left ?
A. None, they were all copycats
Q. What part of a circle do you use to tie up a package?
A. A Chord
Q:
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A: To get his quarter back (Get it - "Quarter Back").
STUDENT:
I have the arithmetic bugs again!
TEACHER:
Arithmetic bugs?
STUDENT:
Most people call them head lice.
TEACHER:
Then why do you call them arithmetic bugs?
STUDENT:
'Cuz they subtract from my pleasure, add to my misery, divide my attention, and
multiply like crazy!!
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Riddles
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COMICS
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